Ramadan day 11 - reclaim your parental authority.

As time has gone by, even in my mere 40+ years of existence, the role of the parent has dwindled. It’s all part of the liberal hegemony to maximize individual freedom. Forget about the concept of an Ummah or a nation, especially a Muslim nation.

Divide and conquer was the strategy on the battlefield and when drawing maps, but now it has entered the household.

I keep seeing more and more Muslims thinking about homeschooling, but they keep on thinking and thinking. The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes. The reality is, you were already homeschooling when your kid was born. They were under your care, and you were teaching them from the start.

No one said it was easy, but it requires sacrifice from both parents to make it work. It’s very simple really - if you don’t sacrifice for your kids, your kids will be sacrificed.

Ramadan day 10 - Schooling vs Education.

Education is important, but schooling is dead.

The traditional methods of learning are out the door, and the more bespoke method of going all in on your craft is the way society is moving. There are still many professions that require the traditional college path, but that will eventually change.

Most non-western countries are already in the forefront of this model. If you wanted to be a Medical Doctor, you could do it in half the time since you didn’t waste half your college years taking electives and “mandatory courses.” That whole excuse of being a well-rounded person is also a joke. Just another way to extract more money from people.

I haven’t even gotten to the dangers of schooling in this post, but you can refer to my posts on bad therapy, which originates in schools:

Bad Therapy Step 1 - telling kids to pay close attention to their feelings.

Bad Therapy Step 2 - Obsessing over your past injuries and personal problems.

Bad Therapy Step 3: Make "Happiness" a Goal but Reward Emotional Suffering.

Bad Therapy Step 4: Affirm and Accommodate Kids’ Worries

Bad Therapy Step 5: Monitor, Monitor, Monitor

Bad Therapy Step 6: Dispense Diagnoses Liberally

Bad Therapy Step 7: Drug ‘Em.

Bad Therapy Step 8: Encourage kids to share their “trauma.”

Bad Therapy Step 9: Encourage Young Adults to Break Contact with "Toxic" Family.

Ramadan day 9 - validating every desire.

When you go grocery shopping in Ramadan, right before iftaar, you start putting things in your shopping cart that you would never put normally. Your body is hungry, and it sees everything as a desire, but you have to control yourself and only get the things that were on your list.

It’s not easy!

We all fall into this trap, but having that self control, especially in Ramadan, is what Ramadan is all about. This small test in the grocery store is part of a much bigger test.

The Mutual Disillusion (64:16)

فَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مَا ٱسْتَطَعْتُمْ وَٱسْمَعُوا۟ وَأَطِيعُوا۟ وَأَنفِقُوا۟ خَيْرًۭا لِّأَنفُسِكُمْ ۗ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ ١٦

So be mindful of Allah to the best of your ability, hear and obey, and spend in charity—that will be best for you. And whoever is saved from the selfishness of their own souls, it is they who are ˹truly˺ successful.

Ramadan day 8 - Resilience vs. Fragility.

Ramadan naturally brings more challenges, and it is one of Allah’s ways for us to be more resilient and strong from a physical, mental, and spiritual perspective.

Most people only focus on the physical and mental, but they forget about spiritual nourishment in their daily lives.

Remember, Allah wants us to fast so we can be more God conscious:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ ١٨٣

O believers! Fasting is prescribed for you—as it was for those before you—so perhaps you will become mindful ˹of Allah˺. (Qur’an 2:183)

Fasting from food, water, and sexual relations is our way of depriving ourselves of our most carnal desires, and if we are able to control those for a whole month, than surely we can control ourselves from lesser desires. That is the goal - to be more resilient to temptations. To live a fragile life is to give in to every temptation and to never take self accountability.

Ramadan day 7 - your home is your sanctuary.

Your home should be a place of tranquility and peace for you and your family. Unfortunately, for many people the home is the place where people get the most anxious, scared, and abused. People in this situation try to avoid going home until as late as possible to avoid interaction with hostile family members. It is why many people during the COVID lockdowns were mentally unstable because they were locked up with their abusers.

As Muslims we already have a storm to deal with outside our homes, and we need to make sure our homes are a safe space for our families. Remember, the home is the best place for our women to pray, so let them be at ease and let them express their beauty in the home in a halal way. Decorate the homes in Ramadan, and let it be a joyful experience with one another.

Ramadan day 6 - read, learn, implement.

We read the Qur’an during Ramadan, and it is a good time to reflect upon it. It is better to read a verse and think about its meaning than to just read and read without any understanding. Don’t focus solely on completing the Qur’an, but focus on understanding and implementing it. The sahaba themselves wouldn’t memorize more Qur’an until they were able to learn the verse and then implement it.

From a more relatable example, no student would read a 4-year curriculum for a Robotics degree, and then decide to put his knowledge to the test. He would read some, do some labs, and then read some more, do some more practical labs, etc. The same goes for the Qur’an.

Read. Learn. Implement. Rinse and repeat.

Ramadan day 5 - the unapologetic identity.

Your Islam will be more present during Ramadan, because people are more likely to know you’re fasting just by listening to the news or because of diversity, equity, and inclusion at most companies. Ramadan will be highlighted in company emails and school systems will try to accommodate for the Muslim community.

Remember, fasting is not new to Islam, it was there for all previous religions, and even if you’re an atheist, the concept of fasting is now considered a health trend. We don’t do it for the trend, but as an act of worship because Allah is deserving of our worship. It is a direct command from Him:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ ١٨٣

O believers! Fasting is prescribed for you—as it was for those before you—so perhaps you will become mindful ˹of Allah˺. (Qur’an 2:183)

Ramadan day 4 - Protecting the Fitra.

The fitra has been described as one of two things:

1. The natural disposition - a person by default will worship one god if not corrupted or influenced by external factors, such as their parents, family, friends, etc.

2. Inclining to the above - the person by default is inclined to worship one God and to discover the truth, even if they don’t have the necessary rules just yet.

Let me ask you - do you think your child, or any child, will be more inclined toward their fitra, or be taken away from their fitra in today’s public schooling system? A system that worships the self, science, and has no place for Allah, except as someone who serves them instead of worthy of being served?

“All you have to do is believe, and you’ll be saved, no matter how bad you are.”

Just belief and no action…sounds like the perfect deception that clouds the fitra.

Ramadan day 3 - The “socialization” myth.

One of the biggest myths about homeschooling is your kids will be less socialized. The reality is when kids are only socializing with their peers, they’re not mimicking the real world. In the real world, and even during the time of the Prophet ﷺ, there was a lot of interaction between children and adults. The society ran as a single unit with both kids, teenagers, and adults interacting and producing for society.

Today’s school systems indirectly promote a complete lack of respect for authority because no real discipline can be implemented. Students have more rights than teachers do and can get away with screaming and all kinds of disrespectful backtalk.

Remember it is the tongue that can lead one to the hellfire. As part of a longer hadith:

'O Prophet of Allah! Will we be taken to account for what we say?' He said: 'May your mother grieve your loss O Mu'adh! Are the people tossed into the Fire upon their faces, or upon their noses, except because of what their tongues have wrought' (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2616)

Ramadan day 2: Real success comes from servitude, and your body needs servitude in Ramadan.

Most people are deluded into thinking real success is from acquiring material wealth. The facade of materialism only shows how no matter how many worldly possessions you have, you will never be satisfied. As the famous saying goes:

Money doesn't buy happiness, but everyone wants to find out for themselves.

I’m not talking about having enough money to meet your needs and some extra for fun, leisure, saving, investing, etc. I’m talking about unnecessary expenses that go beyond just wanting more:

They lead you away from Allah.

These wants will never satisfy, and in Ramadan, we learn that lesson each and everyday we’re fasting.

Let’s take the example of your body. The less we eat, the more our body heals itself. It doesn’t have to spend resources digesting, but can spend resources to heal and serve your body.

You can serve your body with less, and then use that body to serve Allah!

I’ve felt it myself, where the less I eat the better I feel because my pains and aches go away. Maybe the young ones won’t appreciate this as much, but you will one day.

Ramadan day 1 - You are not free from responsibility.

Disclaimer: these Ramadan reminders each day are a reminder for myself first and foremost before it applies to anyone else.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. (Sahih Bukhari)

Being a parent requires leadership abilities, and if Allah has give you the blessing of being a parent, then He subhana wata'aalah also knows that you can be a leader. Not just any leader, but a great leader. Use the month of Ramadan to recalibrate yourself, and in sha Allah, your family.

The Chinese smartwatch that is causing problems for parents.

From Wired (paywalled - News+ link):

At what age should a kid get a smartwatch? In China, parents are buying them for children as young as 5. Adults, of course, want practical features, so they can call their kids or track their location down to a specific building floor. Children have their own reasons to clamor for the gadgets. And they’re specifically after ones made by a company called Xiaotiancai, which translates to Little Genius in English.

The watches, which launched in 2015 and cost up to $330, are a portal into an elaborate world that blends social engagement with relentless competition. Kids can use the watches to buy snacks at local shops, chat and share videos with friends, play games, and, sure, stay in touch with their families. But the main activity is accumulating as many “likes” as possible on their watch’s profile page. On the extreme end, Chinese media outlets have reported on kids who buy bots to juice their numbers, hack the watches to dox their enemies, and sometimes even find romantic partners. According to tech research firm Counterpoint Research, Little Genius accounts for nearly half of global market share for kids’ smartwatches.

Over the past decade, Little Genius has found ways to gamify nearly every measurable activity in the life of a child—playing Ping Pong, posting updates, the list goes on. Earning more experience points boosts kids to a higher level, which increases the number of likes they can send to friends. It’s a game of reciprocity—you send me likes, and I’ll return the favor. One 18-year-old recently told Chinese media that she had struggled to make friends until four years ago when a classmate invited her into a Little Genius social circle. She racked up more than 1 million likes and became a mini celebrity on the platform. She said she met all three of her boyfriends through the watch, two of whom she broke up with because they asked her to send erotic photos.

Kids need to do the things kids need to do: play outside, have unconditional friends, and not gamify every portion of their life. Have fun without having to worry whether other kids will like what you’re doing.